Sunday, August 2, 2009

post-performance reflections

I don't know what to call last night . . . different? Awkward? Definitely out of my comfort zone, but still rather enjoyable - in fact, I think I had more fun last night than during December's concert, but that might have something to do with the comfort of feeling my fingers and toes throughout the performance. Also, I was pretty damn cute this time. Yeah, I said it. What?

I've watched and listened to both performances a few times now, and I'm pretty disappointed. Paul says "Only psychos like to listen to themselves...and you're not THAT crazy," but shouldn't I be able to look back and give myself a pat on the back . . . even a little one? I honestly can't say I deserve it after this performance. My sound was brassy, unkempt, and it lacked depth and richness. I took everything I'd been taught and threw it out the window, and that was pretty easy to hear. What also infuriates me is my lack of stage presence. I had it at one time - it used to be the biggest thing I had going for me. People say it still is . . . but what does that mean? "Hey, Suzie! You're a singer with great stage presence." I'm reminded of Arrested Development's character Gob seeing his nephew's rather plain girlfriend, Ann, for the first time and saying, "What is she funny or something?" I'm that girl. I'm Ann.

The atmosphere was definitely different between the two performances. The second was after sunset, which made a world of difference. I had a lot more fun playing with the spotlight, moving between the light and darkness when it suited me. In daylight performances there's no place to go "off stage." You're there for the long haul. No nose picking, flem hacking or pantyhose adjusting allowed. It affected my mood and my overall stage presence for the first show. I will say though, my voice was in a lot better shape for that one than the later show. Sigh. Couldn't have it all. Wish there were a way for me to dub the early show's sound over the late show's footage. I'm going to assume you'd rather see an interesting performance than hear a pretty one. My apologies to your ears, then.

So what next? I came home and really practiced piano for the first time in I-don't-know-how-many weeks. Picked up Franz Liszt's Liebestraume. Is it possible for a piece to be too romantic? Too beautiful? As for singing, I've performed the two extremes of my repertoire now . . . I'm thinking it's time for something . . . je ne se qua. Mixed? Quirky? Something a little more . . . me. Stephen Sondheim and Kurt Weill. Yes. They'll do nicely.

Be patient for the video footage. My software doesn't like my camera, and lowers the quality by quite a bit when importing. Going to see if Courtney and Chris will lend me an hour or so on their Macbooks to get the job done. :)


courtney*adele said...

you can borrow our macbooks anytime... we're always here to help... and can't wait to see the video!

Mom said...

suCant wait to hear it. I suspect you're too hard on yourself.

Suzie said...

Mommy! Who ISN'T too hard on themselves? Glad you figured out blogger.

Rick said...

Pretty damn cute, Suz. I suspect mom is right. I do hate the feeling that something is "a bit off" though. Crap, I know that feeling SO well. Have fun with that stuff -

I liked the black and white loungey-thing. very dapper :)

Aileena said...

You are a total babe! But I am so partial to the 30's and 40's style. And you wear it so well. Wish I could have heard you. You look stunning!