This hasn't been a great week for blogging. I'm not sure I've had one of those in a while. I will say that I got an amazing amount of sleep last night - much better than the 4 hours of the night before. What are the things I lose sleep over?
1. Wanting to squeeze every last drop from those evening hours after Hannah's in bed with reading, writing, drawing and connecting with people.
2. Allergies and a sore on the back of my throat from scratching it with my tongue (I know, it takes talent).
3. My unmerciful daemon (thank you, Elizabeth Gilbert), who must still be on Japan time.
4. Very sensitive ears. I don't mean that every little sound wakes me up. I sleep in the basement, where sounds are muffled and closets flood. I mean my ears physically hurt from sleeping on one side for too long. I don't know, maybe my cartilage is too firm, or my ears are just extra pokey. Maybe I need headgear for bed. But I can't stay on one side for more than 30 minutes before I have to either switch or roll onto my back, which inevitably ends up with a stuffy nose because of number 1 on this list. It's true that you never sleep the same after having a child, but I don't think the child has very much to do with it (at least mine doesn't). My body is just way too sensitive now.
5. Have you read my dream journal?
6. Sleeping in the same room with my computer and thinking about tomorrow's blog.
7. Facebook, facebook, facebook.
8. Dumb people.
9. Dumb me.
10. Waiting until the lights are off to start my "to-do" list for the next day. You would think the list would be relatively short compared to someone with, oh, a job. But my "to-do" list has things like:
take a shower
cut back to 2 cups of coffee
work on dying goat essay
draw a pig
take pictures of living room from different angles
sleep for 30 minutes of Hannah's nap, finish laundry, read book
go to library
walk to park with Hannah
reply to ____'s email
cook something new
practice "Pictures at an Exhibition"
write book review for "Storm of Swords"
pick new book to read
dry sand in sun, fill sand box
show Hannah how to play with play dough
I need a break. That sounds funny to me, because staying at Mom and Dad's has felt like a vacation. I don't mean I need more leisure time. I'm up to my eyeballs in leisure time. I just need a break from . . . this. The schedule. I need to get out of my own head for a while. Community service. More piano students. Something big to work for. A camping trip to get the hell away from the computer. Live music. A road trip to see my brother in Texas. I need air, dirt and sunshine - the perfect sleeping potion.